Honestly, nothing prepares you for a journey. . be it Bangkok or Chennai or even good old chembur :)
This recent trip to Chennai was tempered with one of the best in-house saunas I have ever experienced in recent times: available 24 * 7, 265 days a year..ok, to savour the grime and this literal downpour of sweat, there are some conditions :
a) You need to be in proximity to any heated body – cooking stove, geyser hot water, or even eco friendly Sun (surya deva)
b) While the experience will vary with the kind of clothing u r wearing, any non-cotton stuff will do the trick with the SQ (sweat quotient) rising from 0 – 100 ml in less than 20 secs – success guaranteed :)
c) It also greatly helps if u have three troublesome toddlers with whom u need to alternate the roles of a drill sergeant, match referee and a mom/aunt - the energy and anger spent in doing so shall greatly influence the type and amount of perspiration in your body !
d) While outdoor picnics that seem to commence only at 11 am right through the blissfully scorching sun is optional, please note even SPF 50 sunscreen cream will not help- its better to go to Australia and get the direct Ozone radiation !
e) Shopping in T Nagar can get quite long, tedious and (yes) sweaty if you promise to go in the supposedly off peak hours @ Saravana Stores (that seems to sell everything except your mom and dad look-alikes) from 9:30 am to 4 pm (or is that peak hours)… the number of oodles (and puddles) of sweat and grime you might generate DOES NOT get washed away with the rather hard water for bathing that Chennai is famous for !
f) ..and hey, I almost forgot – we mortals being used to the rather dirty water of Mumbai, Chennai water actually doesn’t quench your thirst – even if u have the rather mis spelt ( and therefore locally produced) “BISLERE” ! They are quite brand conscious u see – only top of the line names!
Which actually brings me to saying that there are actually a zillion ways in Chennai (or probably even TN) that u can spell the name “Aishwarya” (not the bachchan silly)…it could range from numerologically altered “Ayishwaryaa” to “AYEESHWARYA” to “Aayiswareeya”… good that the Big B’s son didn’t hail from this land – else, he would have (an identity) or spello crisis throughout !
But would I want to visit this land ever again? U bet, yes! December season (music, mallipoo and masala vada) seems to beckon me with open hands, not to forget the rustling of the silks and flashing diamonds of the maamis . And the white veshtis (dhoti) of the rather subdued (read henpecked ) mamas chaperoning their wives or sisters or moms from sabha to sabha – so lovingly written about in ‘Sruti’ magazine!
Now, that’s another interesting experience worth the wait … till then…its good old Dettol time - didnt their ads say "its a good habit"
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