Having been in Bangalore for the last few days, every single lane, store brings back (natural) old memories - some good, some not so and most of them thoughts of innocence.
Like the way my little one wants to climb up the sand pile in the construction site next door- exactly the same way that I used to find it comforting.. the luxury of having ur afternoon lunch onthe steps/porch...the sheer expanse of the park nearby(the price of which i fathom only now after 3 decades!), the neighbourhood shopkeeper who knows more about ur family lineage and history than you know yourself... What a comfort - an oasis in the midst of the frentic pace that we subject ourselves to , no matter what the city...
I do know it will not last forever,...but I need to make this trip work for me. Need to make this worth all the energy , time and resources that have gone into this..
But the most I discovered is the innocence I seem to have lost on the way to financial freedom and 'female emancipation' , if you like !! :) the sheer luxury of having to call on relatives who would gladly host you (albeit for a shot while) ; the seemingly endless cold weather interspersed with the shopping at Jayanagar 4th block, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee as you pass many darshinis..(although they dont come cheap anymore- a good idli vada seems to be as expensive as mumbai - a staggering 25/-) ; the sheer joy on mom's face as she recognises many a face at the local bank/grocer...and many a student / old colleague gushing with joy at having seen their mentor(she was a teacher/prinicipal par excellence-you see)...
Which brings me back to the question: " What is the legacy / memory I shall leave my daughter with ? " ???? Mumbai's cramped spaces? the local trains? the lack of friends?
Or should I - following The Secret strongly - revive my dream to come back to Bangalore??
Perhaps "kaalaya tasmai namaha" (Only Time shall tell)...
Till then, am heading off to my comfort zones- Sukh Sagar in Jayangar, the Ganesh temple opposite that...and many more lanes to conquer.. Many more memories to linger..
November 26, 2008
November 14, 2008
Of wanting to cook world cuisine :)
Now that I have some real good links to some great food blogs, I am sincerely thinking of trading my microwave( for the 2nd time) for an OTG. initial research has led me to weigh the pros and cons of quality vs time. But with hubby repeating a "NO capex expenses" statement everyday , I might just be forced to postpone the purchase.. :(
But what if I trade> I might still get a decent (read atleast Rs. 500/-) for my (sparingly used) microwave that I bought with much fanfare. The lack of time, inclination, interest were used as reasons not to use the Micro, which pretty much asnwers the hubby's question " Whats the guarantee u wont do i again"? My but's and "If " s dont seem to work around him - so I shall do the next best thing - Not ask him for an opinion at all. After all, arent I "the modern forward thinking woman" . although I must admit his logic will hold good..
But that doesnt answer the question lurking "...but what about my little one..I would love to cook somethign good - atleast one per weekend ? " - Just ferverently hoping I can manage the 'justification' why I bought this !! :)
Happy weekend :)...and happy shopping - to me :)
But what if I trade> I might still get a decent (read atleast Rs. 500/-) for my (sparingly used) microwave that I bought with much fanfare. The lack of time, inclination, interest were used as reasons not to use the Micro, which pretty much asnwers the hubby's question " Whats the guarantee u wont do i again"? My but's and "If " s dont seem to work around him - so I shall do the next best thing - Not ask him for an opinion at all. After all, arent I "the modern forward thinking woman" . although I must admit his logic will hold good..
But that doesnt answer the question lurking "...but what about my little one..I would love to cook somethign good - atleast one per weekend ? " - Just ferverently hoping I can manage the 'justification' why I bought this !! :)
Happy weekend :)...and happy shopping - to me :)
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Mystical allure!
November 13, 2008
A little princess !
She must not have been more than 6 years old. Frail and tiny, with unkempt clothes , you would know she shared her space in a shanty, along with the teeming millions who seem to make the footpath their lifelong dwelling !
It was surprising to see her board a ladies first class compartment which was already jostling with people - some reading, some whispering sweet nothings to their boyfriend / husband / ex - whatever.Some more tired office goers on a meditation spree. More looking for that 4th seat (if u know what it means-that end seat on that train seat made for three- or even two depending on the 'volume' occupied). And many of them sleeping with their mouths open - their heads swung back on the seat. And many more yet looking forward to the rest of the night... you see, I told you, the compartment was packed to capacity :)
Yes. But back to this girl. Loads of plastic covers hung from her frail arms, but there was a twinkle in her eyes that shone - something that made most of us take notice. Deftly putting down the bags, and tearing open the covers with her nimble teeth, she opened her wares to us.
The brightest of clips, ribbons, bindis, hair bands - all fit for a princess lay opened in the cardboard boxes and peeped out of the plastic covers.
Swiftly making her way through the crowd, she let the passengers haggle with her. A fleeting glance in the adjoining compartment to make sure her mom was around. And she was ready to bargain, sell and make quick bucks to light the evening fire at home.
Having made purchases for my little one (after bargaining , of course - haggling should be a constitutional birth right for every Indian!!), I quickly got off the train. And as I reached home and opened up the treats, my thoughts kept going back-that girl was a princess herself ! Who would plait her hair, adorn it with clips, and make her look like a princess> her mother? most probably not. She has too many mouths to feed.
And this little one was feeding most of them!
It was surprising to see her board a ladies first class compartment which was already jostling with people - some reading, some whispering sweet nothings to their boyfriend / husband / ex - whatever.Some more tired office goers on a meditation spree. More looking for that 4th seat (if u know what it means-that end seat on that train seat made for three- or even two depending on the 'volume' occupied). And many of them sleeping with their mouths open - their heads swung back on the seat. And many more yet looking forward to the rest of the night... you see, I told you, the compartment was packed to capacity :)
Yes. But back to this girl. Loads of plastic covers hung from her frail arms, but there was a twinkle in her eyes that shone - something that made most of us take notice. Deftly putting down the bags, and tearing open the covers with her nimble teeth, she opened her wares to us.
The brightest of clips, ribbons, bindis, hair bands - all fit for a princess lay opened in the cardboard boxes and peeped out of the plastic covers.
Swiftly making her way through the crowd, she let the passengers haggle with her. A fleeting glance in the adjoining compartment to make sure her mom was around. And she was ready to bargain, sell and make quick bucks to light the evening fire at home.
Having made purchases for my little one (after bargaining , of course - haggling should be a constitutional birth right for every Indian!!), I quickly got off the train. And as I reached home and opened up the treats, my thoughts kept going back-that girl was a princess herself ! Who would plait her hair, adorn it with clips, and make her look like a princess> her mother? most probably not. She has too many mouths to feed.
And this little one was feeding most of them!
November 12, 2008
Bangalore Ahoy!
aah !! that time of the year when I can plan my vacations...and this time (again) it is bangalore , although its teamed up with Mysore as well for a social get together..
Am already thinking about the chat wallah at jayanagr 4th block ( where I have spent almost 2 decades of wolfing down 'absolutely unhygenic' chaats!! ) from unkempt plates, but strangely never down with any of the 'infections' on my sister's or mom' s list !!
Am sure my sis would not dream of going to a place to have chat other than a restaurant( or atleast what is recommended by her friends as the "ADDAH"/ hangout!! ) .. but me , being me, can almost taste the masala puri with the chutneys and onions spread liberally !! somehow the rest of india disappoints me with Chat, esp the masala puri is a total mess !!
Even in mumbai which is supposedly the 'road food' king of India, I find the chats either too spicy / loaded with dhania powder, or too mushy.. as my south mumbai friends would say " arre ... asli cheez to juhu ya chowpatty mein hothi hain", am still inclined to feel that I miss the bangalore punch..
and coming back to the second stuff -the sheer space u get in bangalore ( ok ok i know the traffic is bad), but there are still lung spaces like lalbagh and cubbon park where I would love to take my little one - all of 3 years and expose her to the 'real grass' and show her real flowers and the taalaab.. !! and who knows, she might just be as brain washed about blore as I am passionate about it, and then mother and daughter would take out a dharna to move to bangalore - permanently !! Although I doubt that hubby dear would not only relent but even take cognisance of this dharna !!
Aah!! the sweet nothings in Jayanagr, the dosa courts/ darshinis with piping hot idlis and crisp vadas (not re-fried in old oil unlike munbai),. the soft and succulent rava idli which is a misnomer in most other states of India !!
Man (and woman ) eternally live in Hope.. and am lookign to re-live my childhood . even if its for a few days. Through my little one. through her smiles and ecstacies.. and then come back to reality that am a mother !!
Bangalore.. here I come !!
Am already thinking about the chat wallah at jayanagr 4th block ( where I have spent almost 2 decades of wolfing down 'absolutely unhygenic' chaats!! ) from unkempt plates, but strangely never down with any of the 'infections' on my sister's or mom' s list !!
Am sure my sis would not dream of going to a place to have chat other than a restaurant( or atleast what is recommended by her friends as the "ADDAH"/ hangout!! ) .. but me , being me, can almost taste the masala puri with the chutneys and onions spread liberally !! somehow the rest of india disappoints me with Chat, esp the masala puri is a total mess !!
Even in mumbai which is supposedly the 'road food' king of India, I find the chats either too spicy / loaded with dhania powder, or too mushy.. as my south mumbai friends would say " arre ... asli cheez to juhu ya chowpatty mein hothi hain", am still inclined to feel that I miss the bangalore punch..
and coming back to the second stuff -the sheer space u get in bangalore ( ok ok i know the traffic is bad), but there are still lung spaces like lalbagh and cubbon park where I would love to take my little one - all of 3 years and expose her to the 'real grass' and show her real flowers and the taalaab.. !! and who knows, she might just be as brain washed about blore as I am passionate about it, and then mother and daughter would take out a dharna to move to bangalore - permanently !! Although I doubt that hubby dear would not only relent but even take cognisance of this dharna !!
Aah!! the sweet nothings in Jayanagr, the dosa courts/ darshinis with piping hot idlis and crisp vadas (not re-fried in old oil unlike munbai),. the soft and succulent rava idli which is a misnomer in most other states of India !!
Man (and woman ) eternally live in Hope.. and am lookign to re-live my childhood . even if its for a few days. Through my little one. through her smiles and ecstacies.. and then come back to reality that am a mother !!
Bangalore.. here I come !!
November 11, 2008
motherhood vs meetings!
Am certainly not the first, and definitely not the last mother on this earth to have this dichotomy playing in the back of your mind !
Between diapers and daily briefings . between motherhood and meetings. between school and socialising. and I really admire all those moms around the world doing the juggling act, and effectively at that..
But frequently u do find the emptiness within u, an urge to give yourself that adrenalin push(of the other kind) once in a way, to be able to go pubbing without feelign guilty, to be able to have a decent one hour conversation with hubby dahlin ( at home ., taht too )without being asked where the colour pencils have disappeared, or which of the kids didnt make it to school !!
But just one look at all those parents ferverently hoping to conceive, and am a Queen.. with my little own princess. And a family to boot ! and what luxury India (or even mumbai can give u with maids -yes at exhorbitant prices), but yet the fact that you are comign home to an angel who looks at the world through your eyes, a hubby who keeping egging you on every count, a sister though far away is always in ur thoughts, and finally a demi God mom , who is the best support of your life !!
What more. God. Just One thing. Let me be ever grateful and strong enough to have that balance between motherhood and Meetings. for Life. Forever! Amen !
Between diapers and daily briefings . between motherhood and meetings. between school and socialising. and I really admire all those moms around the world doing the juggling act, and effectively at that..
But frequently u do find the emptiness within u, an urge to give yourself that adrenalin push(of the other kind) once in a way, to be able to go pubbing without feelign guilty, to be able to have a decent one hour conversation with hubby dahlin ( at home ., taht too )without being asked where the colour pencils have disappeared, or which of the kids didnt make it to school !!
But just one look at all those parents ferverently hoping to conceive, and am a Queen.. with my little own princess. And a family to boot ! and what luxury India (or even mumbai can give u with maids -yes at exhorbitant prices), but yet the fact that you are comign home to an angel who looks at the world through your eyes, a hubby who keeping egging you on every count, a sister though far away is always in ur thoughts, and finally a demi God mom , who is the best support of your life !!
What more. God. Just One thing. Let me be ever grateful and strong enough to have that balance between motherhood and Meetings. for Life. Forever! Amen !
Away from this blog for a longgggggg time now.. reasons cant be totally unknown...
Well. there's always a reason to re-start - life, love and eveything eles..
Found this great article to kickstart blogging !!
8 steps to manifesting your very own miracles!
By Staphanie Mcwilliams
By Guest Tickler, 4th November 2008 Email This Tickle
window.google_render_ad();
Some people seem to have it made, generating miracle after miracle with apparent ease, while the rest of us try time and time again, only to be left frustrated, exhausted and confused. But what makes some people abundant, while others are not? It all boils down to the eight success secrets listed below. Once you understand your own abundance blueprint, you too will begin to manifest your very own miracles.
1. ASSUME THAT EVERYTHING IS FOR YOUR HIGHEST GOOD
At this point in my life, I automatically assume that the world is kind. I assume that someone far smarter than I has choreographed my challenges, worries, triumphs, joys, sorrows, and all the rest. To me, life is far too magically complex to simply be random movement of atoms and energy. Through all the good and all the bad in my life, I’ve learned the most amazing things - things I wouldn’t trade for the world. Now, even in the midst of challenging situations, I know that life’s got my back.
2. EXPECT SUPPORT FROM THE UNIVERSE
“Ask and It Is Given” is an amazing book, and an even more amazing statement in itself. So often we’ve forgotten to expect support. Usually we’re wanting support, but rarely, rarely are we expecting it. When we expect something to be done, it’s as if it already is. Someone who expects good things in life often gets it. And have you notice that those who expect the worst usually get that too? Donald Trump expects to be rich. He doesn’t hope for it, he demands it of the Universe. No matter if he loses billions of dollars, he gains it right back. Life is solely an outer manifestation of our internal expectations.
3. BE OPEN TO THE SIGNS
When the world hands you a coincidence, stop and say “thank you!” I see coincidences as winks from the Universe, helping confirm that we’re on the right track. When opportunities line up perfectly, when situations mystically converge, when opportunities fall in your lap, or when you simply find a penny on the ground, embrace them without hesitation.
4. DON’T WANT FOR ANYTHING
Most people, no matter how many manifesting books they read, are still longing for things. The “want” for money, abundance, love, health or happiness is merely that… a want. And voilá, that’s what we get: the opportunity to long for something and not get it. When we think about what we want, or talk about what we want, the world hears “Please let me want for X-Y-Z”. The most challenging aspect of manifesting is to be in the state of already having what you want. Evoking the emotions you would feel once your desired goal is attained is the real key to generating your desires.
5. BE GRATEFUL
The state of gratitude is like having your arms wide open to receive all of life’s bounty. When we’re not in the state of gratitude, it’s like walking through life with your fists clenched and your body contracted. Check in to your emotional and physical positions throughout the day. Are you feeling open to everything around you, or are you guarded, grumpy, cynical or sad? If you are frustrated by your current situation or surroundings, make a choice to see only the good, even if just for 2 minutes each morning. Jotting down things in your life that you’re grateful for, no matter how small, helps you to open to life’s abundance. As we all know, what we think about most, we bring about!
6. CLEAN UP YOUR INTERNAL ACT
Why don’t we all have what we want in life? It’s usually because we have beliefs in the way that are generating more of what we’re not wanting, and less of what we are. No matter how much manifesting work we do, if those beliefs are still in place, they will subconsciously be running your life’s ship without you ever being the wiser. Cleaning up these mystery beliefs can be challenging for most.
As you travel further down the path of cleaning up your home, body and thinking, the work of Byron Katie can be the most amazing gift (www.thework.com). This process is the way I continue working on my own limiting beliefs. The less that stands in our way of believing we deserve a wonderful life, the more we can allow in.
7. FOLLOW YOUR HEART
When you choose to spend time with things that bring you great passion and interest, your emotional body resonates on a very different level. Those who follow their bliss, choose careers that bring joy, spend time with people who delight them, watch movies that lift their spirits, and read books that inspired excitement often draw in more abundant situations. If you make choices out of fear or to “play it safe”, life will give those types of situations or frustrations right back to you. And if you instead take risks to open your heart, mind and spirit, you will, worst-case, get a life of fulfillment, surprise and joy. Look inside to all your underlying motivations and shine a light on them so that you might make a different decision tomorrow. Awareness is the key.
8. TAKE ACTION
When we realize what we desire, and begin to align ourselves with these goals, the next step is action. And often times this is the step that trips us all up. When I had manifested my T.V. show “Fun Shui” and had met my producer, I got scared. REALLY scared. And I began sabotaging the opportunity out of fear. But luckily I came to my senses in the nick of time, stood up bravely, and took action. I moved into some of my deepest life fears, I pushed through limiting beliefs, and I did things I’d never done before…
We can’t stop with just meditation, gratitude, and cleaning up our thinking. We also must take action, and step up to the plate when life hands us miraculous situations or circumstances. Don’t let a great thing pass YOU by!
————————
Stephanie McWilliams is the host of HGTV’s hit show, “Fun Shui”. She is a gifted feng shui designer, coach, holistic health counselor and intuitive - combining all her talents into a powerful Mind/Body/Space approach to healing and personal transformation. Visit her website http://www.EvolvingArts.com to get lots of free goodies, as well as her inspirational weekly newsletter, “My Cup of Chi”.
Well. there's always a reason to re-start - life, love and eveything eles..
Found this great article to kickstart blogging !!
8 steps to manifesting your very own miracles!
By Staphanie Mcwilliams
By Guest Tickler, 4th November 2008 Email This Tickle
window.google_render_ad();
Some people seem to have it made, generating miracle after miracle with apparent ease, while the rest of us try time and time again, only to be left frustrated, exhausted and confused. But what makes some people abundant, while others are not? It all boils down to the eight success secrets listed below. Once you understand your own abundance blueprint, you too will begin to manifest your very own miracles.
1. ASSUME THAT EVERYTHING IS FOR YOUR HIGHEST GOOD
At this point in my life, I automatically assume that the world is kind. I assume that someone far smarter than I has choreographed my challenges, worries, triumphs, joys, sorrows, and all the rest. To me, life is far too magically complex to simply be random movement of atoms and energy. Through all the good and all the bad in my life, I’ve learned the most amazing things - things I wouldn’t trade for the world. Now, even in the midst of challenging situations, I know that life’s got my back.
2. EXPECT SUPPORT FROM THE UNIVERSE
“Ask and It Is Given” is an amazing book, and an even more amazing statement in itself. So often we’ve forgotten to expect support. Usually we’re wanting support, but rarely, rarely are we expecting it. When we expect something to be done, it’s as if it already is. Someone who expects good things in life often gets it. And have you notice that those who expect the worst usually get that too? Donald Trump expects to be rich. He doesn’t hope for it, he demands it of the Universe. No matter if he loses billions of dollars, he gains it right back. Life is solely an outer manifestation of our internal expectations.
3. BE OPEN TO THE SIGNS
When the world hands you a coincidence, stop and say “thank you!” I see coincidences as winks from the Universe, helping confirm that we’re on the right track. When opportunities line up perfectly, when situations mystically converge, when opportunities fall in your lap, or when you simply find a penny on the ground, embrace them without hesitation.
4. DON’T WANT FOR ANYTHING
Most people, no matter how many manifesting books they read, are still longing for things. The “want” for money, abundance, love, health or happiness is merely that… a want. And voilá, that’s what we get: the opportunity to long for something and not get it. When we think about what we want, or talk about what we want, the world hears “Please let me want for X-Y-Z”. The most challenging aspect of manifesting is to be in the state of already having what you want. Evoking the emotions you would feel once your desired goal is attained is the real key to generating your desires.
5. BE GRATEFUL
The state of gratitude is like having your arms wide open to receive all of life’s bounty. When we’re not in the state of gratitude, it’s like walking through life with your fists clenched and your body contracted. Check in to your emotional and physical positions throughout the day. Are you feeling open to everything around you, or are you guarded, grumpy, cynical or sad? If you are frustrated by your current situation or surroundings, make a choice to see only the good, even if just for 2 minutes each morning. Jotting down things in your life that you’re grateful for, no matter how small, helps you to open to life’s abundance. As we all know, what we think about most, we bring about!
6. CLEAN UP YOUR INTERNAL ACT
Why don’t we all have what we want in life? It’s usually because we have beliefs in the way that are generating more of what we’re not wanting, and less of what we are. No matter how much manifesting work we do, if those beliefs are still in place, they will subconsciously be running your life’s ship without you ever being the wiser. Cleaning up these mystery beliefs can be challenging for most.
As you travel further down the path of cleaning up your home, body and thinking, the work of Byron Katie can be the most amazing gift (www.thework.com). This process is the way I continue working on my own limiting beliefs. The less that stands in our way of believing we deserve a wonderful life, the more we can allow in.
7. FOLLOW YOUR HEART
When you choose to spend time with things that bring you great passion and interest, your emotional body resonates on a very different level. Those who follow their bliss, choose careers that bring joy, spend time with people who delight them, watch movies that lift their spirits, and read books that inspired excitement often draw in more abundant situations. If you make choices out of fear or to “play it safe”, life will give those types of situations or frustrations right back to you. And if you instead take risks to open your heart, mind and spirit, you will, worst-case, get a life of fulfillment, surprise and joy. Look inside to all your underlying motivations and shine a light on them so that you might make a different decision tomorrow. Awareness is the key.
8. TAKE ACTION
When we realize what we desire, and begin to align ourselves with these goals, the next step is action. And often times this is the step that trips us all up. When I had manifested my T.V. show “Fun Shui” and had met my producer, I got scared. REALLY scared. And I began sabotaging the opportunity out of fear. But luckily I came to my senses in the nick of time, stood up bravely, and took action. I moved into some of my deepest life fears, I pushed through limiting beliefs, and I did things I’d never done before…
We can’t stop with just meditation, gratitude, and cleaning up our thinking. We also must take action, and step up to the plate when life hands us miraculous situations or circumstances. Don’t let a great thing pass YOU by!
————————
Stephanie McWilliams is the host of HGTV’s hit show, “Fun Shui”. She is a gifted feng shui designer, coach, holistic health counselor and intuitive - combining all her talents into a powerful Mind/Body/Space approach to healing and personal transformation. Visit her website http://www.EvolvingArts.com to get lots of free goodies, as well as her inspirational weekly newsletter, “My Cup of Chi”.
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